Toxic Aftermath 2

Letting go of a toxic relationship doesn’t always equal immediate stress relief.

Yesterday, a friend of mine made a comment to my blog; that sometimes we cannot see past the toxicity and it consumes us.  She hit the nail on the head for me!  I struggle with this, every day.  I let the toxic/negative feelings consume me.

I spent most of this last week feeling guilty, lost and kind of empty.  Once I knew this was a toxic relationship and started the process of ending the relationship, there was relief but also fear.  In order to self-love we need to let go of people who do not nourish ourselves.

Healthy relationships allow both people to grow, there are always going to be ups and downs, times supporting each other, and times when we feel sorrow and joy.  The difference is that these relationships are not a one-sided toxic dumping ground.

Something I had to realize is that I have toxic handler qualities to myself.  I help others deal with their everyday lives, fix their problems (directly and indirectly) and I’m the person who goes to bed with other people’s problems on my mind.  The hardest thing with this is that I absorb the negativity and I take on the stress of others.

Taking on this stress and negativity, can hurt the body; especially with a stress-induced flaring illness.  Letting go of this part of myself has been a struggle; without the strong relationships (the healthy ones) I would probably still be floundering in the negativity pond.

Let go of people who dull your shine, poison your spirit, and bring you drama.  Cancel your subscription to their issues.  – Steve Maraboli

Letting go of the toxicity meant losing people that I thought I was close too, leaving places I thought were good for me and trusting others with my well-being.  I won’t lie to you, it’s taken a long time for me to get through some of these losses.  A long time for me to process that they were hurting me and that the longer I held on to them the more pain they caused me.

The aftermath of letting go of these toxic relationships and environments has been very stress relieving, very new.  Sometimes I feel empty, because I was used to someone texting me all day or I’m used to the drama/negativity in places.  Sometimes I feel like I’ve allowed myself to be too comfortable with negativity and toxicity.

Joining a new gym took a huge chunk out of my negative world, this has lifted my spirits and changed my life.  My workouts have become more productive, and enjoyable again.  Cutting out the negative people from my life has also allowed me to have more productive closer healthier relationships.

You never know where you are going to find toxicity, just remember you do not have to stay.

http://www.cnn.com/2017/01/19/health/toxic-handler-relationship-advice-stress-explainer/

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-12845/5-signs-its-time-to-let-go-of-a-toxic-friendship.html