A couple days ago I touched on my stress and my flares, something that has been on my mind lately is toxic relationships and the stress they cause on the body. Toxic relationships do not only hurt psychologically, they can also be physically damaging.
I broke up with a “close” friend yesterday. Someone who, didn’t have my best interests at heart and left me feeling like I was wrong and guilty. This is a struggle for me, I am a people pleaser; even when it destroys me. Toxic relationships = stress; stress + stress induced illness = flares; flares * days/weeks = internal destruction.
As I have said before my mistake from the beginning with Lupus is that I typically hide my illness. I do this with my anxiety as well, basically anything that makes me feel weak I hide and overcompensate. This hide and go seek game I’m playing internally has consequences, big ones; people do not normally understand when I am too sick to adult. Since they see happy-go-lucky JJ all the time, it is hard for them to understand my sick.
What I have to wrap my mind around is that true friends will love you regardless, sometimes I can’t go out; because my body says no.
I recommend that everyone take a look at their hobbies, relationships and workplace. The longer you stay in a toxic relationship, the more damage to your health.
Taking the steps to break the cycle was hard for me, it took me awhile to fully identify what was toxic and causing me stress. Especially when it comes to relationships. The most important lesson I’ve learned is that it’s ok to ask for help, it’s ok to admit that you are overwhelmed or ill. I focus attention on how I feel with certain people, if I don’t feel comfortable admitting to them that I am sick; they stay surface friends.
I’ve focused on spending time every day doing something I love, exercise. Chronic stress + chronic illness was equaling a huge impact on my quality of life. I set goals, powerlifting was my first goal; from competition to competition with the pain. When I was told that I could not lift heavy anymore, I made lemonade with those lemons and jumped into Body Building.
The best thing about this change was finding my new coach and nutritionist who support me more than I ever thought possible. My diet and workouts are tailored to what I am capable of achieving without hurting myself.
https://www.practicalrecovery.com/prblog/unhealthy-relationships-cause-unhealthy-bodies/
Love it!!!!
Thank you Staci! Reading your books, blogs and posts modivated me to start this! You are a great friend, inspiration and motivator!