I was stuck in a toxic wasteland. 3


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Get rid of that toxic waste!

This weekend was a great weekend – with close friends, love, support, and laughs. I went to bed last night feeling completely fulfilled in life. Seeing L and her family/friends reminded me that it’s ok to go through something, and that I am capable of overcoming it.

This is one of the first times in my life that I can say I am truly happy.

I used to hide so much of myself, I was a very surface person with surface relationships and surface personality. No one knew me and yet everyone thought they knew me. I’ve had boyfriends who thought they knew everything about me, in truth; James is the first man in my life to know everything about me. I owe a great debt to a no longer old friend for telling me it was ok be open.

I’m worth knowing.

How does this tie everything together?!

Being surface person = STRESS; Being surface person = no one to talk to about STRESS; STRESS = FLARES

STRESS that you battle alone = FLARES that are harder on the body.

Everyone needs a safe place, a safe outlet, a safe person. I have completely changed my life in the last year. I got rid of the painful, the toxic and the unnecessary.

HOW?!

It was freaking hard! Especially since we talked recently about my codependent habits – leaving even when it’s good for you feels devastating and scary. James tells me all the time, that I’m a real example that people can change.

They call it toxic waste for a reason! Wikipedia defines toxic waste as a waste material that can cause injury, death, and birth defects…. It spreads quickly and can contaminate everything it touches.

Toxic Relationships = Negativity; breeds negativity. Negativity = STRESS.

Why have a relationship that leaves you feeling empty, insecure and wondering who you are/who you want to be. A relationship is meant to help you grow, overcome, feel fulfilled and learn who you are/help you get there. Leaving these relationships/places was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but goodness how the light shines now.

Before I was in a frustrating dark negative cave – hating going to the gym (because of the uncomfortable cliques there), empty (from the lacking relationships), tired of feeling like I was alone in a room full of people.

But I got better.

I switched to gym where I wasn’t nervous and didn’t feel like a target. Leaving that situation changed my life, seriously; my workouts are better, stronger and more positive. I no longer feel like I am being targeted, talked about and shamed.

I left friends. It sucked at first, but a week later I was fine; I was better.

We hold the cards for our happiness – no one else!

If you are unhappy, unfulfilled and empty – change it. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary. Staying in the same bubble just keeps you stagnate. Stagnate water happens when we quit flowing/growing – it’s another hazard which becomes the breeding ground for disease.

If you wouldn’t drink the water you could serve yourself from your pool, why would you stay there?


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