Accept.
Acceptance.
Acceptance, a person’s assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or condition (sometimes a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it or protest it.
Accepting the gift.
Acceptance, approval of themselves to another.
Acceptance, an act of believing or assenting.
Today’s yoga practice was something new for me, I started the Camp Yoga – Day 1, Accept. Acceptance.
I accept.
I accept where I am at today, and I show up for myself fully.
I think of the act of acceptance a lot, pretty much every day. I am constantly reminded of my acceptance of the fact that I am chronically ill, every morning – every workout – every movement. You never think that accepting you are ill is an option, I used to think (before diagnosis BD) that once I was diagnosed that would be it. Once you know, you know; right?
Not at all.
I was diagnosed and I didn’t change anything. Aside from hiding it from others, even worse; I hid it from myself. Being sick, what did that mean to me?
I have a disease that I will have the rest of my life, everyday there is a reminder. Everyday there is a struggle. Keeping quiet about these is the hardest struggle, hiding from yourself what you are going through makes you feel very alone. Alone breeds STRESS and STRESS = FLARES.
When you go through FLARES alone, you can’t wrap your mind around it – you can’t convey what you are feeling to yourself. Adding a support team and fully accepting that you are sick helps ease the flares, ease the stress; just being able to talk about it helps you to understand what you are going through. Lupus is not something that someone can do one their own, it takes a support group of people you trust to listen, understand and well support.
James oversees all of this for me, he watches my diet – my workouts – and my rest time. Without him I would still be running myself ragged, pushing myself when I shouldn’t and being way too hard on my body.
L helps me see that sometimes I need to give my body and brain a break. She knows what I go through and she’s there when I need to vent about it. Sheesh, she’s across the world from me right now and she still responds when I text her some random I feel down about myself today message.
My parents and James’ dad are huge support for me, I cannot describe the strength they have provided to my illness, doctors appointments and pain.
Acceptance fell on me, to admit to myself – without accepting it myself I couldn’t have the support group.
I love what Day 1 provided, reminding me that I have to accept where I am at today. I am hard on myself when I am going through flares, because I have to take an additional day off or relax/sleep more than normal. Sometimes I can’t lift like I normally do when I’m in pain or flaring, but I show up for myself fully.
Yes, I used to do yoga – yes, I used to be more flexible – yes, I am no longer as flexible. But I am trying! I am showing up! I am doing the movements to the best of my ability.
Be accepting of yourself. Let other people in. Never forget what you are capable of!
Though I have Lupus; I am strong, I have endless opportunities, I am a Lily – strong and in the sun!