Monthly Archives: March 2017

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I’m going to be ok.  You’re going to be ok.  It’s going to be ok.  I’ve been telling myself a variation of this statement all day; to get through the day. Aside from Lupus, I also suffer from crippling anxiety – the worry, nervousness/unease and apprehension – this does include […]

It’s going to be ok….. you are going to be ...

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In the words of the one and only – BIG SEAN! I’m not compromising myself in any way, I love just doing whatever I want and showing people it’s real! Compromise by definition is an agreement or settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions. To […]

Get out of the spoonie drawer and be in the ...

We know we were made for so much more, Than ordinary lives.  It’s time for us to more than just survive, we were made to thrive. HEY! Casting Crowns coined my weekend…. It was a great weekend, even though I was in a flare.  Why?!  Because we were celebrating someone […]

We were made to live… we were made to thrive!

As Superchic(k) coined it… Though it won’t be today, Someday I’ll hope again.  And there’ll be beauty from pain, you will bring beauty from my pain. James has family in town, for like only 24 hours; why am I in this flare!? My flares, for background; a story; Lupus has […]

There’ll be beauty from pain…

Today SUCKS! I’ll be honest, everything in me from the time I woke up to well now is screaming. I’m doing an ok job of ignoring the yelling in my brain; from the exhaustion, the pain and the overall feeling of ICK. I really did not want to own today, […]

New Drugs = controlled fire; controlled fire = renewed growth.

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As I have said in almost every post; STRESS = FLARES! Last night, I had an organ flare up like no other, and you know what I did; succumbed to the pain and allowed myself to be weak/to be sad/to let it own me.  Yes, though I talk about not […]

I am not waiting to live life….

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  Man – O – Man!  What a great weekend!! Getting to watch James compete and meet some new amazing people was so fantastic that as I sit here typing my head is still reeling! 1st things 1st, he did freaking awesome, placing 1st in his weight class!  His teammate […]

Covered in tacky, dust and grime… strongman competition owned!

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Sleep = recovery; not only for my body building/muscle repair but combat lupus fatigue and pain repair. Here is how my nights have looked lately; Pain + flare + stress from pain/flare + discomfort from so much pain + PAIN = painsomnia = no sleep. For a while it was […]

Painsomnia = no sleep; no sleep = a sad ginger

I sometimes have a hard time understanding that what makes me, me is me. I’ve always used something as my main identifier; work… the gym… Using the gym as a main identifier of myself lead to fear of rest days, over training, no progress and pain.  My old coach, encouraged […]

I am more than my gym self…