Today I have been thinking a lot about the term Spoonie and calling myself a spoonie. And you know what??? I hate it!
For quick background – Spoon Theory is a metaphor used by the chronically ill, to explain the reduced amount of energy available for activities; from daily living to productive tasks. Sometimes I have an abundance of spoons and other times I do not. I have lupus, ok; I have lupus. If I allow myself to subscribe to spoonie, I am just allowing myself to die while still living.
It’s funny, I found an article today that talks about coming out with a chronic illness, like it’s a badge of courage I wear every day. She mentions that telling her story can be exhausting, or she can be emotionally triggered by people’s reaction. All of this sounds to me like using your chronic illness as a crutch.
I know lots of people, who like everyone else; go through things on a regular basis – we all technically have a limited number of spoons (what we as ourselves can deal with in a regular day). Why are we using this as an identifier?
I have had asthma since about 6 mo old, I am allergic to practically everything and I have OCD/Anxiety…none of these are identifiers. They are a part of the genetic makeup of this skin suit I get to wear. My lupus came from a mom who drank and smoked when I was in the womb. Of these negative things, my body goes through – why would I want to focus on them in a day and cause more stress.
Counting spoons = STRESS (because of the things I allow myself to think I cannot do)
Let’s all say it together…..
STRESS = FLARES!
I urge you to think more of yourself and your creator than just a spoonie. You can accomplish anything you want, you just have to be strong enough, mentally; to be a BAD ASS. I work full time, I work out 6 days a week, I have a family and dogs that need to be taken care of and I am full-time student. I know what some people are thinking, that my lupus must not be that bad… oh it only affects her skin then.
Read past articles – I suffer from lupus that eats my insides and affects my heart, and I have chronic pain every day…. With muscle and joint inflammation to where some mornings I cannot move without force.
The point here is, I would hate to let this small part of who I am direct my sails. The minute you succumb to the spoonie theory, you are just allowing yourself to no longer live. From today on…. I am removing spoonie from my vocabulary… I am something stronger!
I am reminded of the lilies of the field:
As Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount, encouraging his followers not to worry about worldly needs;
“Why take ye thought for raiment (clothing)? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin. And yet I say unto you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like on of these.
I am a lily, growing strong and faithful that nothing will be thrown to me that I cannot accomplish. Stay out of the drawer and walk outside in the sun. Do not let yourself die, before you get to live.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sophie-cowley/coming-out-as-a-spoonie_b_7013638.html
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