I’ve always gravitated toward self-competitions, one person only sports and less team oriented environments.
I am typically my best, when I am on my own… in competition terms that is…
Why?!
I am an only child, and most of my personality traits are only child shaped. I am completely achievement oriented, as the only child my dad raised me with high expectations and I continue to set high expectations for myself.
There is NO and I mean NO patience in this little body. At times I think this gets looks at as being selfish, but really I just have fairly zero tolerance and find that extra is pointless. There are a great many things that I choose to not bother myself with, or focus on.
Alone time is required! I am completely self-entertaining, self-reliant and rarely lonely. I am used to dealing with everything on my own, especially with the childhood I had with my mother; when I’m upset – being alone calms me more than talking. I need to time alone to process, without that time alone I am hard to deal with; because I never had a sister/brother to talk things out with.
I thrive at being alone. I know who I am and what I can accomplish.
To me, Powerlifting is a sport of 1. Even when I was part of a team all I cared about was beating my numbers. Sure it feels great to win 1st places, but only if I pr’d getting there. At the gym, I am more focused when I am alone and doing my own workout, I have never enjoyed group fitness. There is no part of me that understands why we have to have a party in order to workout! What the heck, the clapping, the singing, the joking, the annoying shouting intended to pump me up – really just makes me want to punch someone in the nugget.
The quiet solace between my headphones, myself and the bar.
It’s a fight between me and the numbers.
Being the only one I never had to fight for attention, I had step sisters once when I was a small fry but I was still my pops main focus. I have step siblings now but they joined the family when I was 18, we have limited interactions and they live pretty far away.
Growing up, it was all about me – no need to stand out amongst other family members.
I’ve spent my life focused, ready, and prepared.
Today I missed a bench, a 160… that I should have hit. I SHOULD HAVE HIT!!! The only child in me can wrap my mind around what I need to do to succeed but not what team sports need to succeed. This is not in a selfish manner, but I’ve never had to compete against or work with that mentality – ever.
I didn’t play sports, really. I didn’t have siblings, really. To be honest – I didn’t have many friends.
I learned to be self-reliant and beat myself, which is something I have maintained into adulthood.. sometimes it means PR’ing and sometimes it means a failed lift.