It’s all between myself and the bar.

I’ve always gravitated toward self-competitions, one person only sports and less team oriented environments.

I am typically my best, when I am on my own… in competition terms that is…


I am an only child, and most of my personality traits are only child shaped.  I am completely achievement oriented, as the only child my dad raised me with high expectations and I continue to set high expectations for myself.

There is NO and I mean NO patience in this little body.  At times I think this gets looks at as being selfish, but really I just have fairly zero tolerance and find that extra is pointless.  There are a great many things that I choose to not bother myself with, or focus on.

Alone time is required!  I am completely self-entertaining, self-reliant and rarely lonely.  I am used to dealing with everything on my own, especially with the childhood I had with my mother; when I’m upset – being alone calms me more than talking.  I need to time alone to process, without that time alone I am hard to deal with; because I never had a sister/brother to talk things out with.

I thrive at being alone.  I know who I am and what I can accomplish.

To me, Powerlifting is a sport of 1.  Even when I was part of a team all I cared about was beating my numbers.  Sure it feels great to win 1st places, but only if I pr’d getting there.  At the gym, I am more focused when I am alone and doing my own workout, I have never enjoyed group fitness.  There is no part of me that understands why we have to have a party in order to workout!  What the heck, the clapping, the singing, the joking, the annoying shouting intended to pump me up – really just makes me want to punch someone in the nugget.

The quiet solace between my headphones, myself and the bar.

It’s a fight between me and the numbers.

Being the only one I never had to fight for attention, I had step sisters once when I was a small fry but I was still my pops main focus.  I have step siblings now but they joined the family when I was 18, we have limited interactions and they live pretty far away.

Growing up, it was all about me – no need to stand out amongst other family members.

I’ve spent my life focused, ready, and prepared.

Today I missed a bench, a 160… that I should have hit. I SHOULD HAVE HIT!!!  The only child in me can wrap my mind around what I need to do to succeed but not what team sports need to succeed.  This is not in a selfish manner, but I’ve never had to compete against or work with that mentality – ever.

I didn’t play sports, really.  I didn’t have siblings, really.  To be honest – I didn’t have many friends.

I learned to be self-reliant and beat myself, which is something I have maintained into adulthood.. sometimes it means PR’ing and sometimes it means a failed lift.

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