Let’s talk about stress, baby
Let’s talk about you and me
Let’s talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be….
Let’s talk about stress.
Having a disease that flares from stress, occasionally means weekends that are spent in bed trying to recuperate.
Stress = flares, flares = sick-pants…
If you think of the immune system as a police force, its job is to shoot foreign invaders (the viruses and bacteria’s). With an autoimmune disease, like lupus; the police have gone rogue and are shooting the civilians. This week my immune system went bonkers and shot all the good guys, civilians and armed the bad guys.
Lupus, with the symptoms of being tired and feeling ill send signals to the immune system to activate; which bring the amazing marches of inflammation. Stress and illness travel the same brain pathways. It’s a horrible cycle, sickness causes stress which causes more sickness.
The hardest part is knowing that a part of this was brought on me. I let the overwhelming anxiety get to me, which lead to an overflow of stress – which helped the immune system start to take over the good cells… and turn them bad.
It’s hard.
I’ve been in more pain this week than I have experienced in a long time. Pulsing pain through both my hips (used to only be the left) which run down my legs and up my lower back. Every part of my body feels sick, worn out and destroyed; completely dead.
The hardest part of being sick like this, is allowing myself to be sick. Taking the time to sleep to get better. Knowing that its ok I spent the better part of a weekend holed up under covers sleeping. I’m not good at admitting defeat, admitting when I need to take it easy and rest. I’m not good at acknowledging when my body has had enough – when this bag of bones is done with life, done trying.
By Friday I knew I was getting sick from the overwhelming stress, I was done with the week. I’m very bad at letting the stress go after a certain point, my anxiety kicks in and I just go straight down the rabbit hole of illness.
I still did the important things… Like help 2 of my favorite people in the world move, the type of friends that being sick can’t keep you from! I worked out on Saturday…. Managed to squeak out a leg day.
Stress sucks, I’m still learning how to deal with mine, its’ a learning curve. Every day I’m presented with a new challenge, a new objection, a new way my body responds. I’m still learning how to deal with my diagnosis… it’s a long road, but one that is lined with supporters.
The easiest part is focusing on not changing my life to fit my Lupus.