Am I prepared to encourage myself?
Not every day is Lilies. Today is one of those days that starts out amazing and then someone opens their mouth to you and everything starts to sit in the pit of your stomach. If you are like me you immediately start to over think this conversation; I am currently sitting here with alternate conversations swirling around in my nugget.
Why didn’t I say what I wanted?
Why did I just smile and nod, like I give a HOOT and then walk away?
2 reasons, 1. I am a nice person – being mean and saying what my gut reaction is helps no one. 2. Speaking how I really feel could have adverse effects.
We all have that 1 er 2 people that have the power to make or break our days. I guess what I am searching for today, is why? Why does this person hold so much fuel to my day? This person doesn’t matter in the scheme of where my life is going/where I want my life to go. To be honest their conversations with me hold so little water in my life, I am now wondering why I even think of them at all.
They try to motivate me, but they haven’t taken the time to know how I am motivated; so, their pep talks wash over me like insults. It’s more of a de-motivating speech then the intended purpose. It’s more of a slap in the face about where I might be lacking, then where I am excelling. If you don’t take the time to know what makes me motivated, then trying to motivate me is futile…
I cannot remove this person from life, currently – so I am focusing on encouraging myself. Who is a better friend, coach and ally to myself – than me!
Today instead of thinking about what I’d wished I said, I stayed positive.
I am making myself better.
I am looking to change.
I am good at what I do.
This person holds no water in my life, to the people who matter to me I am special, I am creative, I am positive, and I am happy.
James mentioned to me, last night; that I was reading and watching some content that is very negative lately and he was concerned that I would get lost within it. Last night I scoffed at this comment. This morning I thought about what he said, James is very honest with me – to the point where sometimes it hurts; but he was very right.
Since I have been reading American Girls and Social Media, Are you there Alone?, and I started Thirteen Reasons Why (because I read the book) I have allowed more negative thoughts to cloud my judgement. I used to think that my workouts were enough time to inspire and clear my mind – but it’s not; I still find that more negative thoughts cloud my judgement than positive.
Instead of thinking the good in someone’s comment I immediately jump to the bad, as I monitor how I speak I need to think about how I perceive others. When James tells me something that might hurt my feelings, he is telling me because he cares – not to hurt.
Someone who doesn’t know me, isn’t going to go out of their way to make me feel like a miserable person – Look for the positive side JJ!
We joined the rec center in our area this week, it’s a family friendly amazing lil place and I am happy to be a new member. Long story short, I got embarrassed and lashed out a bit – did I ever stop to think that maybe the conversation was hard for the other person, and that she may have been just as embarrassed to have it with me? No, I immediately allowed myself to feel victimized. After about an hour of talking it over with James, I realized I was being plain stupid. Rules are rules and short shorts do attract negative attention, attention that I don’t enjoy.
So I called the rec center, and left a message on her machine; I apologized if I came off rude and that it was just my embarrassed self-coming through in a mean manner.
I always try to take the high road when I realize I’ve acted like an ass.
Just like Freaky Friday – we never know what the other person is going through unless roles are reversed. Bye honey, Make good choices!!!